Handcuff fantasies

Wee Boy: hey I’m going to put these handcuffs on
Me: on yourself?
Wee Boy: Yeah
Me: You’re really into those cuffs eh?
Wee Boy: well yeah. You know how sometimes you want to see what it’s like to be a criminal? That’s what I’m doing. “Get me out of here! I was framed! I’ll never last in prison!”


Optimizing wishes

Wee Boy: So Dave if you had one wish what would it be?
Me: I would wish for infinite wishes
Wee Boy: that’s pretty good. I though about that too. But I think a better wish would be that every night you turn into a velociraptor. It’d be pretty awesome. You could stay up as late as you want. Do you want to change your wish to be a velociraptor too Dave?

Women and haircuts

Wee Boy: so you know that girl I like at school?
Me: yeah
Wee Boy: I don’t think she really likes me back
Me: oh really? Why do you say that?
Wee Boy: I dunno. Prolly because I don’t have a cool enough haircut. You think I could go to the barber soon?
Me: yeah I suppose.
Wee Boy: cool. If that doesn’t work I’ll just seek out another.


Wee Boy: do you think we could go to McDonalds?
Me: no we’re gonna eat at the house
Wee Boy:well I really wish we could go to McDonald’s
Me: dude, we’re gonna make chili and eat real food. Fast food is junk. We can’t always be eating it.
Wee Boy: but it’s so good! Dave do you have any idea how good it is? Whenever I eat there it’s like a magical journey of flavor!