Wee Boy: Dave you’re an awesome step dad. Plus you get mad at a lot of things, like people chewing with their mouth open. But that’s okay. You’d probably make a good social studies teacher.
Wee Boy: If I wanted to, I bet I could be a doctor or a nurse
Marley: yeah? Why do you say that?
Wee Boy: well I know how to diagnose things. Like at school Barbera told me her ear was bleeding and I diagnosed it for her
Marley: oh yeah? What did you tell her?
Wee Boy: I told her she’s probably going to die
Wee Boy: you know who’s pretty awesome?
Wee Boy: black people
Me: what makes you say that?
Wee Boy: well we learned in school how they fought and got silver rights. So that’s pretty awesome
Me: silver rights?
Wee Boy: yeah
Me: I think you mean Civil Rights
Wee Boy: oh. Well I guess that’s pretty good too
Wee Boy: “is crap a bad word?”
Me: “yeah pretty much you don’t want to use ith”
Wee Boy: “What if you crap your pants? I did that in school once.should I say it about that?”
Me:”well ya gotta do what ya gotta do”
Gretchen (describing a teacher): “the woman is tiny! I swear she’s like 110”
Wee Boy: no way! How can anybody live that long!
Wee Boy: we sit at a table in art class called the Van Gogh Table
Me: oh yeah? Do you know who Vincent Van Gogh was?
Wee Boy: a sumo wrestler?
Me: He was a famous painter. He painted some very famous paintings. He was kind of crazy too.
Wee Boy: well I kind of wish he was a sumo wrestler
Question on wee boy’s homework: Why do you think someone would choose to take the dangerous profession of a logger? Wee Boy’s answer: Because they’re dumb.
Me: So bud let’s talk about our day. How’d your day go?
Wee Boy: Well, I farted at school a lot. I couldn’t help it.
Me: oh..did people say anything?
Wee Boy: No. Well Miss Gurnee looked at me and then looked away and went to get a book. But I kept on farting. So Dave, tell me about how your day went?
Wee Boy: my math teacher speaks Hawaiian. He says ‘Aloha’ instead of hello
Me: Oh yeah? Is he really Hawaiin?
Wee Boy: No. He’s just a white dude who says Hawaiin stuff
Wee Boy: Dave, I’m not going to play bass anymore. But I’ve been thinking of playing the flute but my grandpa says I can’t because flutes are for girls. Is there a small instrument like a flute for boys?