Oceanic dangers

Wee Boy: so Dave what are your parents up to these days?
Me: well, in a week they’ll be sailing around the Virgin Islands on a sailboat
Wee Boy: oh really? Like in the ocean?
Me: yap
Wee Boy: well I hope they don’t get attacked by a shark. Actually I hope they don’t get attacked by a whale, because that’s actually more common.


Being nice about weight

Wee Boy: so Dave why are you on a diet?
Me: cos I’m getting fat
Wee Boy: aww, you don’t look like you’re getting fat to me.
Me: heh well thanks, that’s nice of you!
Marley: Whenever I say that Dave just thinks I’m being nice
Wee Boy: yeah, well actually I’m just being nice too.

The Breakfast Club

(Watching Breakfast Club)
Emilio Estevez: what did your parents do to you?
Ally Sheedy: (whispers) they ignore me
Wee Boy: what did she say?
Marley: she said her parents ignore her
Wee Boy: oh. Yeah, looking at her I can see why

Staying up for the Bears

Me: hey dude, it’s past 10 and there’s no way the Bears are going to win this. Why don’t you start heading to bed
Wee Boy: Dave, the most important part of sports is that you never quit. It’d be wrong of me not to stay with this game. I need to stay up and watch until the end. Quitters never win Dave

Sharknado commentary

Me: what’s your favorite thing about this movie (Sharknado)
Wee Boy: when the sharks attack the people and the people attack the sharks
Me: what’s your least favorite thing?
Wee Boy: The drama and pretty much everything else. But the music is good.

Postmortem Bills

Wee Boy: that’s really sad about the Fast and Furious guy dying in that accident
Me: yeah
Wee Boy: what was the car he was in?
Me: it was a pretty expensive car. It was a racing Porsche
Wee Boy: oh
(A minute later)
Wee Boy: I bet when that guy crashed and died he thought to himself “well, a good thing is that I won’t have to pay all the bills on this car anymore”. I know that’s what I’d think.