How the Wee Boy Came Into the World

Wee Boy: so mom..when I was born did I come out of your penis?
Marley: well women don’t have penises
Wee Boy: What do you mean? Why not?
Marley: well they have something else
Wee Boy: so point to where I came out of you
Marley: well you’ll learn
Wee Boy: did I pop out like a balloon?
Marley: sure why not


Life Lessons from Al Capone

Wee Boy (to his friend): so Dave told me all about how Al Capone was a famous gangster and he made lots of money and killed lots of people
Timmy (his friend): really? That’s cool!
Wee Boy: yeah, but he had to go to jail because he didn’t pay his taxes. So he couldn’t sell beer anymore. And that’s why it’s so important to pay your taxes.

Avoiding WWIII One 4th Grader at a Time

(preface: I have no idea what the context here is but the wee boy has a friend over and he’s explaining things to him)

Wee Boy: So Timmy, there’s one thing I want you to never do. Don’t ever split an atom. Seriously. You do that and you’re just asking for a nuclear explosion.
Timmy: Really?
Wee Boy: yeah don’t you remember WWII?
Timmy: oh yeah…you can tell which wars are more violent and cooler because the numbers go up.
Wee Boy: yeah you don’t want to start WWIII