(Watching Breakfast Club)
Emilio Estevez: what did your parents do to you?
Ally Sheedy: (whispers) they ignore me
Wee Boy: what did she say?
Marley: she said her parents ignore her
Wee Boy: oh. Yeah, looking at her I can see why
Category Women
Total Drama All Star Ginger
Wee Boy: Dave you wanna watch Total Drama All Stars?
Me: sure
Wee Boy: Zoey is on. She’s the hot one
Marley: she’s a red head
Me: oh yeah? Ya like gingers dude?
Wee Boy: No I like browns. She’s just a cartoon Dave
Sister’s Boyfriends
Marley: so you think you’ll be a protective older brother to your sister
Wee Boy: oh yeah. If she has a loser boyfriend I’ll shoot him in the balls with a paint gun. It’ll leave a bruise
Women and haircuts
Wee Boy: so you know that girl I like at school?
Me: yeah
Wee Boy: I don’t think she really likes me back
Me: oh really? Why do you say that?
Wee Boy: I dunno. Prolly because I don’t have a cool enough haircut. You think I could go to the barber soon?
Me: yeah I suppose.
Wee Boy: cool. If that doesn’t work I’ll just seek out another.
Career options
Wee Boy: If I wanted to, I bet I could be a doctor or a nurse
Marley: yeah? Why do you say that?
Wee Boy: well I know how to diagnose things. Like at school Barbera told me her ear was bleeding and I diagnosed it for her
Marley: oh yeah? What did you tell her?
Wee Boy: I told her she’s probably going to die
Clothing compliments
Wee Boy: mom, when you wear that shirt, you really look pregnant! It really shows how pregnant you are!
Figuring things out
Wee Boy (holding his bass): “So I heard if I play this thing it’ll be a magnet for chicks. What does that mean?”
Looking out for Mike Tyson
Wee Boy: Dave what state does Mike Tyson live in?
Me: well I think he lives in Nevada
Wee Boy: Is it illegal to hit girls there?
Incremental Prettiness
Marley: Matthew do you think that girl is pretty? (watching Tron Legacy)
Wee Boy: Yeah but she’s only 60% as pretty as you
Figuring out Acronyms
Wee Boy: Mom remember when you said PMS stands for something I’ll learn about when I’m older? Well I think I figured out what that stands for
Marley: What?!
Wee Boy: it means Poo Manatee SoilÂ
Musings From the Wee Boy 