(Wee boy is watching a Sci Fi channel movie called Two Headed Shark and suddenly all the women on the beach take their tops off)
Marley: Matthew you can’t watch this
Wee Boy: Oh c’mon I can handle it
Marley: You’re too young to watch this
Wee Boy: Mom they’re milk cannons, the woman’s most powerful weapon
Wee Boy: so Dave I need to pick up some chicks, can you show me how to play the guitar?
( showing the wee boy how Apple Loops work on my new rig in the basement )
Wee Boy: that’s pretty neat Dave. But can this thing play any Beastie Boys? Cos if not is it okay if I go back upstairs and watch my show?
Wee Boy: so Dave what are your parents up to these days?
Me: well, in a week they’ll be sailing around the Virgin Islands on a sailboat
Wee Boy: oh really? Like in the ocean?
Wee Boy: well I hope they don’t get attacked by a shark. Actually I hope they don’t get attacked by a whale, because that’s actually more common.
Wee Boy: so Dave why are you on a diet?
Me: cos I’m getting fat
Wee Boy: aww, you don’t look like you’re getting fat to me.
Me: heh well thanks, that’s nice of you!
Marley: Whenever I say that Dave just thinks I’m being nice
Wee Boy: yeah, well actually I’m just being nice too.
Wee Boy: Dave why are you so wet!
Me: just got out of the shower
Wee Boy. Oh. Well no offense Dave but if I got out of the shower I’d be twice as wet as you