Me: what’s your favorite thing about this movie (Sharknado)
Wee Boy: when the sharks attack the people and the people attack the sharks
Me: what’s your least favorite thing?
Wee Boy: The drama and pretty much everything else. But the music is good.
Wee Boy: that’s really sad about the Fast and Furious guy dying in that accident
Wee Boy: what was the car he was in?
Me: it was a pretty expensive car. It was a racing Porsche
Wee Boy: oh
(A minute later)
Wee Boy: I bet when that guy crashed and died he thought to himself “well, a good thing is that I won’t have to pay all the bills on this car anymore”. I know that’s what I’d think.
Wee Boy: so Dave, when you saw that I chewed with my mouth open when you first met me did you think “Boy I am in for a loooooooooong life”
Wee Boy: hey I’m going to put these handcuffs on
Me: on yourself?
Wee Boy: Yeah
Me: You’re really into those cuffs eh?
Wee Boy: well yeah. You know how sometimes you want to see what it’s like to be a criminal? That’s what I’m doing. “Get me out of here! I was framed! I’ll never last in prison!”
Wee Boy: So Dave if you had one wish what would it be?
Me: I would wish for infinite wishes
Wee Boy: that’s pretty good. I though about that too. But I think a better wish would be that every night you turn into a velociraptor. It’d be pretty awesome. You could stay up as late as you want. Do you want to change your wish to be a velociraptor too Dave?
Wee Boy: So Dave you know what the pilgrims dressed like? They dressed like witches and warlocks. Why would they do that?
Wee Boy: Dave you wanna watch Total Drama All Stars?
Wee Boy: Zoey is on. She’s the hot one
Marley: she’s a red head
Me: oh yeah? Ya like gingers dude?
Wee Boy: No I like browns. She’s just a cartoon Dave
Marley: so you think you’ll be a protective older brother to your sister
Wee Boy: oh yeah. If she has a loser boyfriend I’ll shoot him in the balls with a paint gun. It’ll leave a bruise
Wee Boy: so you know that girl I like at school?
Wee Boy: I don’t think she really likes me back
Me: oh really? Why do you say that?
Wee Boy: I dunno. Prolly because I don’t have a cool enough haircut. You think I could go to the barber soon?
Me: yeah I suppose.
Wee Boy: cool. If that doesn’t work I’ll just seek out another.
Wee Boy: no offense to Christians but for me , church is really boring