Wee Boy: so grandma Lynn, I have something really gross to tell you. On TV I saw a guy who paints pictures with his penis!
Grandma Lynn: oh, I bet they aren’t very good.
Wee Boy: Naw…he just paints cubes with it.

Marley: Matthew go hang in the family room with Sophie, there’s words in this movie I don’t want you to hear.
Wee Boy: oh don’t worry. I’ve heard those words all the time when I watch movies with Dave

Wee Boy: Dave, if you live to an old age do you have to speak Chinese?
Me: haha no, why did you think that
Wee Boy: Well my fortune cookie says “You will live long to an old age. Learn Chinese” and then it had some Chinese writing and said “noon ik yun”

Wee Boy: Dave, True or False…I’m old enough to start doing puberty
Me: um, true Wee Boy: Correct. Now here’s a tricky one. True false- the balls have two string looking things that connect to a bladder
Me: true?
Wee Boy: Correct!

Wee Boy: so did you know that sometimes when you’re sleeping, if you have a penis you might pee sperm?

(Watching Return of the Jedi )
Wee Boy: this is a really hard scene for me
Me: why?
Wee Boy: well I can handle the Storm Troopers getting killed, but I just get so emotional when the Ewoks die. That’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to watch

(Watching World War Z)
Wee Boy: don’t worry mom, I know this is scary, but I’m alright. Besides I know this is just a movie. Real zombies don’t jump around like the ones in this movie.