Wee Boy: Dave, just to let you know, a nuclear war is my first biggest fear because that’d be the end of the world. My second biggest fear is getting my penis cut off because then I couldn’t control how my pee comes out
Category Life
Robot Nutrition
(Trying to get the wee boy to eat his beans)
Me: hey you the guy who is the Terminator? That guy had to eat lots of beans to get those kinds of muscles
Wee Boy: Dave, he was a robot. And robots eat and poop nails. Everybody knows that.
Preparing the Toilet
Wee Boy: mom! The downstairs bathroom is out of toilet paper
Marley: well you know where the toilet paper is in the upstairs closet? Why don’t you run upstairs and get some.
Wee Boy: Okay. Hey Dave I’m putting more toilet paper in the bathroom so go ahead and take a crap in about 5 minutes if you want
Hanging at the hospital
Me: Sweet! They got a diabetes learning center here! Dude, lets go hang there and learn all about blood sugar!
Wee Boy: Are you serious? Dave, do even know what real fun is?
Movies with bad words
Marley: Matthew go hang in the family room with Sophie, there’s words in this movie I don’t want you to hear.
Wee Boy: oh don’t worry. I’ve heard those words all the time when I watch movies with Dave
Getting old and learning Chinese
Wee Boy: Dave, if you live to an old age do you have to speak Chinese?
Me: haha no, why did you think that
Wee Boy: Well my fortune cookie says “You will live long to an old age. Learn Chinese” and then it had some Chinese writing and said “noon ik yun”
Anatomy Quiz
Wee Boy: Dave, True or False…I’m old enough to start doing puberty
Me: um, true Wee Boy: Correct. Now here’s a tricky one. True false- the balls have two string looking things that connect to a bladder
Me: true?
Wee Boy: Correct!
Random Conversation
Wee Boy: so did you know that sometimes when you’re sleeping, if you have a penis you might pee sperm?
Life Plan
Wee Boy: I think I pretty much know what I’m going to do with my life
Marley: oh yeah
Wee Boy: yeah. I’ll probably run cross country in junior high, join the chess club, then in high school I’ll study animals and maybe play football and then I’m going to go to the University of Kentucky
Me: University of Kentucky eh? Why’s that?
Wee Boy: that’s where the guy from Call of the Wild lives. I’m going to take his place. His teeth have almost all fallen out so by the time I get there he should be ready to quit.
Favorite President
Wee Boy: You know who my favorite president is?
Marley McAnally: who?
Wee Boy: George Washington. Because he had wooden teeth. So he didn’t have to waste time brushing them. They were probably like dentures. It’d be pretty awesome to be president and not have to brush your teeth
Musings From the Wee Boy 