Wee Boy: so Dave which one are you cheering for? Obama or Romney?
Me: oh I dunno. I like some things each of them say and don’t like other things they say. How about you?
Wee Boy: well, I am cheering for Romney. I guess the issue I agree with him on is that he supports a better future. I think that’s a pretty good idea.
Category Life
Living to the Extreme
Wee Boy: Dave, do you think it’s abnormal for a human to run on all fours like an animal
Me: yes
Wee Boy: well, this may shock you, but I’ve DONE that before. What do you think about that?
Valid Concerns
(Walking the trash cans back from the curb)
Wee Boy: Dave you know what fear I’ve had lately?
Me: what’s that?
Wee Boy: oh, like what if a monster came and ripped out my bladder?
Me: what? Why are you thinking about that?
Wee Boy: oh I dunno. Just one of those things I guess. But that’d be really bad if that happened because I’d get blood all over my penis
The Correct Answer is Obvious
Wee Boy: would you rather eat a handful of chocolate covered cockroaches or deep fried road kill?
Me: the cockroaches
Wee Boy: I know! What idiot would pick road kill??
Christmas List Qualities
Wee Boy: So Dave, I’m making my Christmas list, and I just want to tell you, I think you’ll be happy with most of it, but there’s some things I had to ask Santa for that you may not be happy about. But don’t worry, I cut it down so there’s only six animals on it.
Thoughts about flying
Wee Boy: can you sleep on planes
Me: oh yeah…something about jet noise makes me pass right out Wee Boy: oh. Okay.
(A minute later)
Wee Boy: you think you fart in your sleep when you’re on a plane?
Me: what? What made you ask that?
Wee Boy: oh, I guess it’s one of those things I wonder about.
How Babies are Made
Wee Boy: so Dave, after you got on the train my mom told me how a baby is made. It’s disgusting! I can’t believe the penis actually goes inside the vagina!
Me: well yeah, that’s about the size of it.
Wee Boy: yeah. I can’t believe that’s how it works! If I were making a baby I’d make sure my balls didn’t touch the vagina because that’s gross!
Physical Oddity
Wee Boy: So let me tell you something Dave, sometimes I have trouble controlling myself and all I have to do is shrug my shoulders and I fart. See?
(Proceeds to do it)
Feeling Sorry for Mitt Romney
Wee Boy(at his computer): I really feel sorry for Mitt Romney
Me: oh yeah? Why’s that?
Wee Boy: well he lost the election to Obama, and based on these votes, he’s going to lose the Time For Kids Person of the Year to Obama AND Michael Phelps! I wish he could at least win SOMETHING for once!
Emotions and Sharks
Wee Boy: so Dave what would you think if I had no emotions?
Me: well I think life would be pretty boring. You’d never laugh or be happy
Wee Boy: yeah but I’d never be scared or sad either.
Me: yeah that’s true I guess
Wee Boy: plus I wouldn’t have to worry about monster or shark attacks so that’d be nice
Me: haha why do you say that?
Wee Boy: well you know how monsters and sharks are, they chase people when they are scared. If they saw me they’d just think I’m weird and chase somebody else
Musings From the Wee Boy 