Wee Boy: so mom, want to hear what happened yesterday? A kid walked up and punched me.
Marley: what?! Matthew why did he punch you?
Wee Boy: I’m not sure. But I think it’s because I hit him in the face with a snowball
The Historical Accuracy of the Cyclops
Wee Boy: Dave do think a cyclops was real?
Me: no I think that is just a legend
Wee Boy: well I don’t know that for sure. There could have been one. All I know is whether he’s real or fake, I bet he stinks at playing darts
Preparing the Toilet
Wee Boy: mom! The downstairs bathroom is out of toilet paper
Marley: well you know where the toilet paper is in the upstairs closet? Why don’t you run upstairs and get some.
Wee Boy: Okay. Hey Dave I’m putting more toilet paper in the bathroom so go ahead and take a crap in about 5 minutes if you want
Jimmy Carter’s Pre-Presidential Career
Wee Boy: Mom is it true Jimmy Carter farted peanuts before he was president?
(Disclosure: I said he FARMED peanuts, but Marley McAnally’s reaction was well worth the mispronunciation)
Labor Wages in Ancient Egypt
Me: hey you know what the Egyptians paid the workers that built the pyramid?
Wee Boy: what?
Me: beer
Wee Boy: ugh! They’re lucky they didn’t ask me to help them
American Idol Judges
(Watching American Idol)
Wee Boy: Why is she (Nicki Minaj) making fun of the way that guy sings? She’s the one who’s bald and has to wear a wig!
Hanging at the hospital
Me: Sweet! They got a diabetes learning center here! Dude, lets go hang there and learn all about blood sugar!
Wee Boy: Are you serious? Dave, do even know what real fun is?
Movies with bad words
Marley: Matthew go hang in the family room with Sophie, there’s words in this movie I don’t want you to hear.
Wee Boy: oh don’t worry. I’ve heard those words all the time when I watch movies with Dave
Getting old and learning Chinese
Wee Boy: Dave, if you live to an old age do you have to speak Chinese?
Me: haha no, why did you think that
Wee Boy: Well my fortune cookie says “You will live long to an old age. Learn Chinese” and then it had some Chinese writing and said “noon ik yun”
Problems with the Teacher
Marley: Matthew I’m not happy. I got a note from your teacher that you were being a smart allek in class
Wee Boy: well yeah, that happened. I didn’t have to go to the principle’s office though.
Marley: it doesn’t matter! You have no right to be disrespectful to your teachers! Do you know why what you said was wrong?
Wee Boy: I know. To be honest, it all started when I told her I’m not an idiot, I know what a microscope is. Then it just got worse…
Musings From the Wee Boy 