Wee Boy: Dave I don’t know about this place
Me: why?
Wee Boy: they don’t use normal words for anything. That’s creepy
Me: they speak French up here dude
Wee Boy: well it’d be a lot better if they didn’t
Category Life
Real Zombies
(Watching World War Z)
Wee Boy: don’t worry mom, I know this is scary, but I’m alright. Besides I know this is just a movie. Real zombies don’t jump around like the ones in this movie.
The Platypus
Wee Boy (to Marley): The Platypus has a duckbill, tail and can swim up to 30 mph. Dave says they also have heat vision like Superman but I don’t think that’s ever been proven
Taken out of context
Wee Boy: This guy comes over and trims my mom’s bush and she has to pay him a lot of money to do it
Marley: (uncontrollable laughter)
Wee Boy: what? You said it’s expensive?
Pastors
Wee Boy:”Who’s in charge of a church”
Me: “well that’d be a pastor. Like the one who’ll marry your mom and me”
Wee Boy:”Does he say ‘You May Kiss the Bride?”
Me: “Yap, that’ll be him that says that!”
Wee Boy: “If it were dogs getting married, would he say “You may lick the bride””?
Me: “Heh, well yes I suppose he would”
Wee Boy: “…awesome”
Planning Trips
Wee Boy: “So mom, how long after the wedding until you and Dave take your trip to the moon?”
Marley: “You mean honeymoon?”
Wee Boy: “Yeah when is that?”
Observations
Wee Boy (as he’s getting out of the car) “So mom, I was thinking….I’m gonna go ahead and take a guess that you and Dave have sex. Alright see ya!”
Keeping me in suspense
Wee Boy: the Iowa Elk was a type of deer that lived during the ice age. You don’t even want to know how long its antlers were
(silence)
Wee Boy: seriously you don’t want to know
(silence)
Wee Boy: do you want me to tell you how long they are? They are 12 feet, do want me to tell you that?
Me: yeah sure
Wee Boy: they have antlers that are twelve feet long!
The Beatles
Wee Boy (looking at a magazine with the Beatles on it after practicing bass): so which guys are dead?
Me: John and George
Wee Boy: what did they play?
Me: they both played guitar
Wee Boy (looks at his bass): so the other guys probably need a guitar player huh?
Sharing Wisdom
Me: Bud lay down (wee boy is getting out of bed to show me how a certain dinosaur hides)
Wee Boy: What? I’m just showing you how the stegosaurus defends itself
Me: well it’s bed time now, you can show me later
Wee Boy: Dave I’m giving you information. This is important. How else are you going to be as smart as me?
Musings From the Wee Boy 