Emotions and Sharks

Wee Boy: so Dave what would you think if I had no emotions?
Me: well I think life would be pretty boring. You’d never laugh or be happy
Wee Boy: yeah but I’d never be scared or sad either.
Me: yeah that’s true I guess
Wee Boy: plus I wouldn’t have to worry about monster or shark attacks so that’d be nice
Me: haha why do you say that?
Wee Boy: well you know how monsters and sharks are, they chase people when they are scared. If they saw me they’d just think I’m weird and chase somebody else

Punishment

(Wee boy got in trouble at school today)
Marley: no TV tonight or tomorrow morning
Wee Boy: okay *sigh*
(Five minutes later)
Wee Boy: so you’re still upset at me mom?
Marley: well I’ve said my piece and you got your punishment
Wee Boy: well I don’t think my punishment is severe enough. How about instead of no TV, I have to sleep on the floor?

Karate Genes

Wee Boy: mom what did you pass on to me?
Marley: what do you mean?
Wee Boy: like Canadian? German? Irish?
Marley: oh! Well let’s see I’m part Irish, part English, I think some German….
Wee Boy: oh. I was hoping you’d say Japanese so then I’d know karate

Women Outnumbering Men

Wee Boy: Dave I have a really important question- are there more men or more women on the planet?
Me: I think there’s more women
Wee Boy: why?
Me: oh I don’t know. I think women tend to live longer.
Wee Boy: do you think they’ll gang up and take over?
Me: heh naw doubt it
Wee Boy: all this time I really thought there was more men in the world. Hopefully women don’t gang up.
Me: I wouldn’t worry about that dude. I think men and women work fine together
Wee Boy: yeah but what happens if women find out they outnumber men? I just hope men are nice enough women don’t decide to take over when that happens.
(A couple minutes later)
Wee Boy: hey Dave can we look up on your phone if there’s more women than men? I want to double check.