(busted for using bad language after watching Family Guy)
Wee Boy: “So does this mean I can never watch Family Guy ever again?”
Me: “Well for the forseeable future”
Wee Boy: “Well if I COULD see the future could I watch it?”
Category Life
Avoiding Harry Potter Spoilers
Wee Boy: “Do you want me to tell you about Harry Potter? Or do you not want it spoiled? Like whether or not Voldemort dies? Because he does. So it might spoil it if I tell you”
Facts about The President
Me: Do you know who the president is?
Wee Boy: Barack Obama
Me: Nice! How’d you hear about that?
Wee Boy: my grandpa told me
Me: oh yeah? What did he tell you?
Wee Boy: that he’s ruining the country
Words and Eyewitness Accounts
Wee Boy: “I throwed a rock at this tree and it broke in two”
Me: “You ‘threw’ the rock”
Wee Boy: “why can’t I say throwed?”
Me:”because throwed isn’t a word”
Wee Boy: Yes it is
Me:”Umm.. No it’s not!”
Wee Boy: “Yes it is I’ve seen it! You calling me a liar?”
Safeguarding from Squirrels
Wee Boy (playing outside comes rushing to the back door banging on it): “I need to get in the house really fast!”
Me: why?
Wee Boy: I have some acorns!
Me: so?
Wee Boy: So if I stay out here with these things the squirrels are going to get me!
Me: you’re not playing video games if you come in
Wee Boy: well I guess I COULD bury them then
Keep this in mind
Wee Boy (interrupting): hey Marley: Matthew Dave is talking wait until he’s done
Wee Boy: well I need to tell you something
Marley: well wait!
(2 minutes later)
Marley: okay you can talk
Wee Boy: good I needed to tell you…a boy megladon can have a baby without a girl megladon. Remember that.
Vocabulary Existentialism
Wee Boy: once a big bag of sand felled on a Velociraptor
Marley: fell not felled. That’s not a word
Wee Boy: yes it is
Marley: no it’s not! The word is fell
Wee Boy: well if it’s not real how come I hear it in my head?
If you have to choose
Wee Boy: so Dave, which smell do you hate more? Car gas or people gas?
Barney isn’t Real
Wee Boy: Dave did you know Barney isn’t a real dinosaur? He’s a fake?
Me: (sarcastically) He’s not??
Wee Boy: nope. He’s a naked man in a suit and sometimes he smokes.
Vocabulary Shortcomings
Marley: Matthew don’t argue with me put your coat on!
Wee Boy: I’m not arguing
Marley: yes you are. Stop it!
Wee Boy: No I’m not!
Marley: Yes you are you’re doing it now!
Wee Boy: mom how can I be arguing? I don’t even know what arguing means!