Category Women

How Babies are Made

Wee Boy: so Dave, after you got on the train my mom told me how a baby is made. It’s disgusting! I can’t believe the penis actually goes inside the vagina!
Me: well yeah, that’s about the size of it.
Wee Boy: yeah. I can’t believe that’s how it works! If I were making a baby I’d make sure my balls didn’t touch the vagina because that’s gross!

Women Outnumbering Men

Wee Boy: Dave I have a really important question- are there more men or more women on the planet?
Me: I think there’s more women
Wee Boy: why?
Me: oh I don’t know. I think women tend to live longer.
Wee Boy: do you think they’ll gang up and take over?
Me: heh naw doubt it
Wee Boy: all this time I really thought there was more men in the world. Hopefully women don’t gang up.
Me: I wouldn’t worry about that dude. I think men and women work fine together
Wee Boy: yeah but what happens if women find out they outnumber men? I just hope men are nice enough women don’t decide to take over when that happens.
(A couple minutes later)
Wee Boy: hey Dave can we look up on your phone if there’s more women than men? I want to double check.

The Girl From Wendy’s

(A new Wendy’s commercial comes on…the one where Wendy Thomas (THE Wendy in Wendy’s) is on)
Wee Boy: Dave is that the girl on the sign?
Me: yeah–she’s grown up quite a bit since they made that sign eh?
Wee Boy: Yeah and I bet from the looks of her she eats at Wendy’s a lot. I don’t want to be mean but she’s really let herself go.

(Note she was 6 when the Wendy’s logo was created…she’s almost 50 now)

Dog vs. Women References

(First Monday morning conversation…) Wee Boy: oh Sophie. (Our dog) you are just so cute and sexy and hot!
Me: hey dude, sexy and hot aren’t terms you use to describe a dog
Wee Boy: why not?
Me: do you know what they mean?
Wee Boy: that she’s pretty
Me: well kind of but not exactly. You’ll learn more about that stuff in the next couple of years. Just trust me that those are terms you only use for humans. Seriously, don’t call Sophie ‘sexy’ in front of your friends dude. You say she’s pretty and stuff.
Wee Boy: will my friends laugh at me?
Me: yeah especially once you’re in junior high.

A Female President

Wee Boy: so Dave, do you think there will ever be a female president?
Me: sure. Probably in the next election we could have one the way things are going
Wee Boy: oh really? Are you worried about that?
Me: no not really.
Wee Boy: you don’t think if there was a woman president she’d make all the men do the work so women could shop and do their hair? Because that’s what I’m worried about.