Author Archives: Dave McAnally

Apologizing

(Playing original 8 bit NES Contra)
Me: Hey that gun with the S on it, don’t get that let me get it
Wee Boy: why can’t I have it?
Me: cos I need it for this level
Wee Boy: well could I use it for the level?
Me: just let me get it okay?
Wee Boy: well what happens if I get it?
Me: you’ll die like 2 seconds after you get the gun and we won’t have it
(About 10 seconds go by)
Wee Boy: you know you can just go ahead and say you’re sorry for saying that if you want.

Looks like the Devil

Wee Boy: So what’s that movie that’s so scary my mom won’t watch it?
Me: The Exorcist. It’s a freaky movie dude. You definitely don’t want to watch that.
Wee Boy: yeah. That’s the one about the devil getting inside a kid right?
Me: Yeah pretty much
Wee Boy: so, what does the kid look like? Does he look like Justin Bieber?
Me: Ha no. It’s actually a little girl that gets possessed. Why did you think Justin Bieber?
Wee Boy: Oh I dunno. I guess he just looks like somebody who would have the devil inside of them.

Important Question

Wee Boy: hey Dave..
Me: hold on bud, I’m trying to concentrate
Wee Boy: well I have a question for you
Me: well give me a minute
Wee Boy: okay
(2minutes later)
Wee Boy: Dave are you done yet?
Me: not yet…this is a windy road dude I need to concentrate
Wee Boy: well I just need to ask you something
Me: gimmie a sec
(5 minutes later)
Me: okay what’s up?
Wee Boy: Finally! Okay, I need to ask you, what would you rather have, your grandma’s name or her haircut?

Staying Healthy

Marley: so what do you need to do today
Me: well I have some work I need to do, then I need to get a workout in
Wee Boy: you sure workout a lot Dave. You must have a really healthy colon.
Me: what? Why do you say that?
Wee Boy: oh I just heard a commercial that talked about how important it is to have a healthy colon and the people on it were exercising.

Bad Joke

Me: So if I have cheese for my chips and you don’t do you know what that’s called?
Wee Boy: what?
Me: that’s nacho cheese!
Marley: you get it? “Not your cheese”
Wee Boy: oh, yeah I get it.
(a couple minutes latter)
Wee Boy: Dave I hope I don’t hurt your feelings, but I don’t think that’s a very good joke

Catching Werewolves

Wee Boy: So Dave, you know what would suck about being a werewolf? Everytime you turned into a werewolf your clothes would all rip up and get torn off. You’d probably wake up the next day and be like “Gawd! Now I have to buy more clothes!”
Me: yeah, that’d get expensive after awhile.
Wee Boy: yeah it would. But you know what I’d do if I were a werewolf hunter? I’d go to the village clothing store and see who bought new pants after a werewolf attack because that’s probably who the werewolf is.